Off the Grid...

I've been struggling with posting on my blog. I guess I kind of freaked out about 2 weeks ago. After a whole day of dumping my brain into the computer, I slammed my computer shut and threw it out the window. I immediately regretted it. I couldn't control my frustration with my novel, my mother, my love life, and my life in general for that matter. I had been wasting days cooped up in my apartment just typing and typing and typing. My fingers went numb and my eventually my brain went dead. I'm starting to realize that being a novelist is a lot more than I bargained for. I had so many ideas floating around in my head that I couldn't wait to get on paper but I am sick of it. Who am I to write this novel? Who was I to think that someone would actually want to read it?
Well, to get to the point... I haven't touched my computer in 2 weeks. That means my blog went away with the computer. Unfortunately my writing freeze dragged blogging with it. I actually enjoy blogging when I am in the mood but I was in no mood at all for a while.
For the past 2 weeks I have tried to sit down and figure everything out once and for all. I can't escape this limbo I've been trapped in for years now. I have had such a hard time getting on my feet. These 2 weeks have helped me sort some things out. I've decided that all I want to do is be happy. I spent two weeks figuring out what makes me happy. I've been spending time with friends and getting to know people. I am so happy when I am with new friends. I've been so open about my real life with all of the people I have met recently. I've enjoyed sharing my life to near strangers and they have become friends. I have traveled around the city and I have taken a trip out to Cape Cod. I have explored all that I can in the Boston area. I've concluded that I am going to take all the money I have saved and I am going to travel. It seems like another drastic decision but I am going to do it. I have about $15,000 saved from my last job, graduation, and the coffee shop. I have been doing a lot of research and I think I have more than enough to take a US tour. I'm going alone. I was going to bring Danny but he couldn't quit his job. No one really understands my ability to drop everything and start over. I've done it a few times in my life and it hasn't satisfied me. I hope this will do the trick. If not, I hope to meet some interesting characters and see some awesome places along the way! For now, the novel is on the sidelines.

I'll keep you posted!

-L